Be Your Own Music Maker

“We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.”

The quote needs no introduction. It has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and as soon as I was capable of thinking for myself, it meant a great deal to me. It wasn’t until I really became an independent, responsible thinker that it morphed into what it is today – a piece of the composition for how I believe I should live my life.

One of the virtues I hold dearest to me is accountability for yourself and your actions. Not only should you take accountability and responsibility for yourself, you should do the same for your life. Too many people thrive off of falling victim to their misfortunes. They make excuses for every problem that they have in their life and they ultimately take advantage of the few unfortunate situations that have been thrown their way. I have gone through difficult emotional trials throughout my life and I have frequently written in this blog about what I have learned from them. I don’t cast aside responsibility for the situations that caused those trials and I certainly don’t make excuses for myself. I use what I have learned to make myself stronger as a person and to grow character.

I have been very fortunate in my life otherwise. It was only until very recently that I experienced something that was completely outside of my control that turned my life upside-down, and I am not ashamed to admit that I wavered in my strength during that period of time. I imagine that most people feel a lot like I did when I was laid off – desperate for a job, for money, lacking in self-worth and with the horrifying nagging question always in the back of your mind, “Why did this happen to me?” If your friends and family haven’t been through it, it’s difficult for them to understand it. If they aren’t looking for a job in this terrible economic climate, they don’t appreciate the devastating feeling of hearing “We went with another candidate,” “You’re overqualified,” or the dreaded no response at all. Days turn into weeks and into months and the bills pile up. You fight with the unemployment agency and your previous employer just so you can start getting your unemployment checks and you struggle to find jobs to apply to that meet the minimum requirements for your job contacts to even qualify for unemployment. You think about getting just any old job that will hire you when you do the math to realize you will have to make twice as much as minimum wage just to make more than unemployment. You feel stuck in a sinking stinking pit. The entire time you have that terrible self-deprecating thought staring at you from around the corner – “What did I do to deserve this?” Or the anger kicks in and you think, “That no good company ruined my life.”

It’s true that I had moments of pure weakness and I broke down and cried. I didn’t know what to do to get out of a hole that just kept getting deeper, in every sense. In many ways, I am still recovering from those four months. In many ways, I have learned and grown a great deal.

When I wasn’t feeling my worst, I was constantly reminding myself that being laid off is a life trial that many people have to endure, and that emotional and financial troubles are often a side effect of such a trial. I needed to take accountability for my life and do everything I can not to adopt the victim mentality. Take control of my bad situation and find the positive in it. Don’t blame anyone for what happened, because it’s nobody’s fault. Just be strong and wise and learn.

I constantly try to live my life paving my own path. From a young teenager, I tried to remain an individual and “march to the beat of my own drummer” as some might say. To me, that means making my life what I want it to be as opposed to what others want of me. That also means taking what has been offered to me and learning what I want and need from it. Most importantly, it means making opportunities for myself instead of waiting for them to come to me. Remembering that I am not entitled to anything in my life, I have to do what I need to earn what I want for myself.

To me, that is dreaming your own dreams and making your own music for them.

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